I make animal noises sometimes when I’m getting my thing on. Not like a parrot or an elephant -- more catlike. Sounds like a purr, maybe, or a growl.
I don’t mean to sound like an animal; it’s just my body’s way of communicating it approves of what it’s getting and it wants more.
But if my partner said “Baby, you’re so animalistic,” I think I’d be annoyed. Cliches are the sort of thing that limits, at least in my mind, how I openly and creatively I feel I can express my lust, libido, sexual tension, etc.
In this Salon article on the term “Cougar,” the author -- despite getting a little over-fem-y -- describes why she hates the term used to describe older women dating younger men:
How sad and backward that we have to give it a nickname, animalize it as if it's outside the boundaries of civilized human behavior, make it a trend, pretend that Demi Moore invented it. That's not progress, and it's not a step forward for women.
I used to yell at ex’s for using cheesy terminology to describe sex acts or moods -- tigress, fuck like a pornstar, make love to you, etc. And until recently I thought it was just because, in my younger days, I was a rebellious punk-rawk chick to whom those words were wayyy too establishment.
But thanks to a lovely noise-evoking encounter last night and this lil Salon article, I realize my dislike stems from the same thing that makes me not want to be pigeon-holed into any category, cliche, or clique. I want sex where I can claw, screech, play dead, or kiss softly at whim, whenever I want, with no expectations to fulfill or role to stick to -- unless you’re into that.
Just to offer up some dissent...
ReplyDeleteAs a person who's stock and trade is in words, you of all people should see past the whole "clichés are needless" thing. The terms exist because they are things that people have to say often enough. We don't call it the heavy hitty thing, we call it a hammer. Not because we are uptight carpenters, because it's easier to have a word for that thing.
I have no love for the term "cougar" (although I do love SNL's coining of the term "gerbil") but it serves a function. Instead of having to explain the nature of a woman's May/December romance, or make mention of Aston Kutcher we just get to use a simple 6 letter word and everything makes sense.
There is no intrinsic loss of personality by being fit into a label. Stereotypes exist because they are general truisms, not because they are steadfast benchmarks. I defy you to find any single person who is exactly a picture of any established category. Everyone has unique characteristics that set them apart from their genus just as much as they have characteristics that hold them to it.
Also, are you playing dead much these days?